Author Topic: What's the dumbest thing you heard said today?  (Read 298856 times)

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Offline muffin

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #50 on: May 26, 2008, 00:46:43 »
I told her it was probably too cold in Ontario to have that sort of thing in her garden in Feb... and took away her "how to Feng Shui" book  ;D
"Do not touch anything unnecessarily. Beware of pretty girls in dance halls and parks who may be spies, as well as bicycles, revolvers, uniforms, arms, dead horses, and men lying on roads -- they are not there accidentally."
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Offline ArmyVern

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #51 on: May 26, 2008, 00:48:32 »
I told her it was probably too cold in Ontario to have that sort of thing in her garden in Feb... and took away her "how to Feng Shui" book  ;D

They may call them dragons, but they still look a hell of a lot like lizzards to me.

Feng Shui ... LOL. She wants one for a Canadian (outside of BC) garden!!?? How old is she??
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Offline Shiraz

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #52 on: May 26, 2008, 01:33:59 »
For my humiliation only.....

"mom will I grow a hair on my lip just like you before I get a beard?"

My son might be dead tomorrow.

Offline muffin

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #53 on: May 26, 2008, 02:07:17 »
They may call them dragons, but they still look a hell of a lot like lizzards to me.

Feng Shui ... LOL. She wants one for a Canadian (outside of BC) garden!!?? How old is she??

27 HAHA
"Do not touch anything unnecessarily. Beware of pretty girls in dance halls and parks who may be spies, as well as bicycles, revolvers, uniforms, arms, dead horses, and men lying on roads -- they are not there accidentally."
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Offline ArmyVern

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #54 on: May 26, 2008, 02:11:56 »
For my humiliation only.....

"mom will I grow a hair on my lip just like you before I get a beard?"

My son might be dead tomorrow.

Is he 15?? This is normal.  >:(

This one from mine:

Jordan comes running into the room ... "Mom ... MOM!!! Is it normal for guys to have milky stuff oozing from their nipples!!??"

Mom ... "What!! NO!!!"

Jordan ... "Whew - good thing that I don't then" beating hastey retreat from my range.

I never know what to expect from him.

Once at the checkout to the grocery store, I remarked "I wonder if I've got everything (more speaking out loud to myself)"? He pipes up (loudly) with a "Maybe you can buy those boob implants here before we go."
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Offline ArmyVern

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Hard by MCpl Elton Adams

If you or someone you love is having difficulty & would like to speak to someone who has been through a similar experience, who understands, & will respect your need for privacy and confidentiality, contact OSISS toll-free at 1-800-883-6094. You can locate the peer closest to you by logging on to www.osiss.ca, clicking on “Contact us” link & then choosing the “Peer” or “Family Support Network”. Help IS out there.
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Offline Celticgirl

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #56 on: May 26, 2008, 09:53:16 »
I just got a large coffee at the local Tim's drive-thru. I gave the lady a $20 bill and she gave me $8.46 in change. Here's the conversation that followed:

Me: "I'm sorry, but I gave you a 20." (showing her the incorrect change in my hand)

Her: "No, you didn't. You gave me a 10."

Me: "No, it was a 20. I only had 20s on me."

Her: "No, you gave me a 10."

At this point, another Tim's worker intervenes and they look in the till. They are unsure of how many 10s and 20s they are supposed to have, so this doesn't help.

Her: "You gave me a 10."

Me: (sigh) "I gave you a 20. I didn't have any 10s on me. I just came from the bank machine. I only had 20s."

She reluctantly hands me a $10 bill. I thank her (with gritted teeth) and leave.

They need to start using IQ testing for Tim's applications, I swear.  ::)
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Offline Bzzliteyr

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #57 on: May 26, 2008, 10:09:22 »
On the bright side, at least it wasn't a deer in the headlights look like when they aren't sure how much change to give you back when the machine doesn't work or they type in the wrong amount.
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Offline Celticgirl

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #58 on: May 26, 2008, 10:18:00 »
On the bright side, at least it wasn't a deer in the headlights look like when they aren't sure how much change to give you back when the machine doesn't work or they type in the wrong amount.

True enough. ;)  However, I was seriously worried I wouldn't get my money back because this person with the memory of an ant was so sure I had given her a $10 bill and not a $20. That would be one expensive coffee!

I was just telling my fiance yesterday how annoying it is when they just say "drive through" and don't tell you how much it is. At least twice now I've had that followed by an open hand at the window. I can do the math in my head, but why should I have to? They should be telling the customer how much the total is.  ::)  Today's little exchange topped those ones, though.  :P  Yeesh!
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Offline Bzzliteyr

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #59 on: May 26, 2008, 10:54:17 »
You know what I hate here in QC?  In line, before they start to even take your order, they ask whether or not it's take out.  I mean it's probably safe to assume that 90% of the people in line are they to go...

Mind you, a cool technique I have seen here in Montreal but nowhere else is as they work in a team of two and there is a huge line up, there is a woman on the sidelines asking you what you want drink BEFORE you get to the cash.  By the time you get there, the drink is ready and all you have to do is pay.  Very efficient.
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Offline Haggis

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #60 on: May 26, 2008, 11:42:32 »
Once at the checkout to the grocery store, I remarked "I wonder if I've got everything (more speaking out loud to myself)"? He pipes up (loudly) with a "Maybe you can buy those boob implants here before we go."

I see your embaressing kid story and raise you this one:

We live in a rural area and have to go into town to a Korean run grocery store to pick up our packages.  One day while doing so, with my son in tow, Korean lady gives me the gears because I didn't bring the little postal notification card with me.  I tell her the parcel is in my wife's name and she called me to pick it up on the way home. She asks me for ID.  I whip out my I card.  She won't accept it because it doesn't match the photo in the book of acceptable IDs (old... really old book).  Korean guy comes over and they start arguing, in Korean, about my ID.

My son looks up and says "Daddy, why are they talking like babies?"

Following a looong, stunned silence, Korean guy gives me the package without another word and we leave the store.
« Last Edit: May 26, 2008, 12:49:50 by Haggis »
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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #61 on: May 26, 2008, 11:57:15 »
A guy named Greg I used to work with at Tim Hortons back when I was 14 was on his last day before quitting.  This woman comes into the store, and I guess she came in every other day and Greg hated her just because of how arrogant and rude she was.  Now she had to be at least 80, so maybe is was just that whole generation block thing but anyways.  So she orders a coffee (the same one she always did, before sitting down to drink it by the window for three hours) and Greg goes to make it.  As he's leaving the woman says "Well aren't you going to do your job and take my money?"  I guess she had taken out a five while Greg turned around to make her coffee.  Greg goes bright red, looks at her and very sweetly and politely says.  "Ma'am the only other thing you have in your schedule today is to drop dead of old age, so you can be patient."

Needless to say I ran to the back room before dropping to the floor in a fit of hysterical laughter.  I mean what he said was totally inappropriate especially in the customer service industry but still, oh the look on this woman's face was amazing.  Needless to say, they let Greg go home early from his last shift.   :P
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Offline the_girlfriend

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #62 on: May 26, 2008, 14:54:01 »
This winter we had a lot of snow in montreal...

I was helping my boyfriend getting the car out of the drive way...
he gave me the tractions aids and I looked a him for 5 seconds and I asked:

"Do I put them in front of the tire or behind the tire?"  :-\

I deserve a trophy on this one...  ;D
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Offline GAP

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #63 on: May 26, 2008, 14:56:36 »
This winter we had a lot of snow in montreal...

I was helping my boyfriend getting the car out of the drive way...
he gave me the tractions aids and I looked a him for 5 seconds and I asked:

"Do I put them in front of the tire or behind the tire?"  :-\

I deserve a trophy on this one...  ;D

Hmmmm.....all depends on which direction you want to go......no?
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Offline Eye In The Sky

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #64 on: May 26, 2008, 14:57:09 »
Question on a D & M course I was on at the Armour School mid-90s, candidate to instructor...

"Brake fluid...is that a liquid?"

And he was serious....
If we should have to fight, we should be prepared to do so from the neck up instead of from the neck down.

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Offline the_girlfriend

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #65 on: May 26, 2008, 15:01:27 »
Gap,

Even though it is not to my advantage...
Lets just say that we were parked against a wall...  ::)
“Mathematics is the only science where one never knows what one is talking about nor whether what is said is true” Bertrand Russell

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Offline PMedMoe

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #66 on: May 27, 2008, 13:38:22 »
Some guys doing training in our building passed me in the hall today (so I have to admit, I didn't catch the whole conversation) and one of them was telling another:

"You tap on the mag, hit the forward assist and keep firing.  That's the IA."
I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

Offline NL_engineer

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #67 on: May 27, 2008, 16:06:36 »

"You tap on the mag, hit the forward assist and keep firing.  That's the IA."

Close

You hit up on the mag, recock the weapon, and keep firing
« Last Edit: May 27, 2008, 16:15:46 by NL_engineer »
Note to any Taliban and AQ personnel on the Form:  ALL SUICIDE VESTS AND EXPLOSIVE DEVICES MUST BE TESTED TO INSURE THEY WORK BEFORE GOING AFTER A TARGET.

This is a measure to save any embarrassment that may occur when your explosive device, does not function as it is intended to.

It has come to my attention that these measures are not being followed, so for all Taliban; please refer to the above.

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Offline Kat Stevens

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #68 on: May 27, 2008, 16:10:25 »
Close

You hit up on the mag, recaulk the weapon, and keep firing

Why, it's not leaking bullets, is it?
Apparently, a "USUAL SUSPECT"

plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose

If a million people do a stupid thing, it's STILL a stupid thing.

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Offline ArmyVern

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #69 on: May 27, 2008, 16:14:10 »
Why, it's not leaking bullets, is it?

Jam can sometimes be liquidish no?? Or is that marmalade?  :)
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Offline NL_engineer

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #70 on: May 27, 2008, 16:15:13 »
Why, it's not leaking bullets, is it?

just me not thinking  ;D, I just had another long boring day (on a course  ::)) so my brain isn't working yet
Note to any Taliban and AQ personnel on the Form:  ALL SUICIDE VESTS AND EXPLOSIVE DEVICES MUST BE TESTED TO INSURE THEY WORK BEFORE GOING AFTER A TARGET.

This is a measure to save any embarrassment that may occur when your explosive device, does not function as it is intended to.

It has come to my attention that these measures are not being followed, so for all Taliban; please refer to the above.

Thank you for your cooperation

Offline ArmyVern

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #71 on: May 27, 2008, 16:16:52 »
just me not thinking  ;D, I just had another long boring day (on a course) so my brain isn't working yet

Brain is working OK, Brain stops. Tongue is fully forward.

Is there an IA for that?








Tequila - I'm thinking tequila will solve it.  ;)
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Offline NL_engineer

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #72 on: May 27, 2008, 16:19:50 »
Tequila - I'm thinking tequila will solve it.  ;)

Hopefully  ;D
Note to any Taliban and AQ personnel on the Form:  ALL SUICIDE VESTS AND EXPLOSIVE DEVICES MUST BE TESTED TO INSURE THEY WORK BEFORE GOING AFTER A TARGET.

This is a measure to save any embarrassment that may occur when your explosive device, does not function as it is intended to.

It has come to my attention that these measures are not being followed, so for all Taliban; please refer to the above.

Thank you for your cooperation

Offline rifleman

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #73 on: May 27, 2008, 16:36:03 »
Close

You hit up on the mag, recock the weapon, and keep firing

Actually that is a remedy for a stoppage and don't hit the mag. The IA is cant and look. Unless of course its changed with all that gunslinging, quick draw magaw stuff

Offline NL_engineer

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Re: Whats the dumbest thing you heard said today?
« Reply #74 on: May 27, 2008, 16:55:05 »
Actually that is a remedy for a stoppage and don't hit the mag. The IA is cant and look. Unless of course its changed with all that gunslinging, quick draw magaw stuff

No it is not from the C7 pam, its the gunfighter IA  ;D
Note to any Taliban and AQ personnel on the Form:  ALL SUICIDE VESTS AND EXPLOSIVE DEVICES MUST BE TESTED TO INSURE THEY WORK BEFORE GOING AFTER A TARGET.

This is a measure to save any embarrassment that may occur when your explosive device, does not function as it is intended to.

It has come to my attention that these measures are not being followed, so for all Taliban; please refer to the above.

Thank you for your cooperation