Author Topic: More and more funnies.. vol: something...  (Read 115237 times)

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Online Macey

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #875 on: February 02, 2012, 19:45:54 »
I remember speaking to a British submariner officer about the sub purchase. He said it was like this at the closing deal.  :facepalm:
« Last Edit: February 03, 2012, 18:44:15 by TN »
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Online Macey

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #876 on: February 03, 2012, 18:54:53 »
Budget cuts hitting the sandbox...

Offline DexOlesa

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #877 on: February 04, 2012, 08:27:44 »
The hell is that thing?? Looks like one of those 6 wheeled ATV's you take hunting with a mounted gun, and that slat armour....and whatever that light bar is out front.

Offline Jim Seggie

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #878 on: February 04, 2012, 12:56:57 »
The hell is that thing?? Looks like one of those 6 wheeled ATV's you take hunting with a mounted gun, and that slat armour....and whatever that light bar is out front.

A mine roller?
Freedom Isn't Free   "Never Shall I Fail My Brothers"

“Do everything that is necessary and nothing that is not".

Offline jollyjacktar

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #879 on: February 04, 2012, 13:01:50 »
Meanest looking Gator out there.   :nod:
"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid" - John Wayne

Online Macey

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #880 on: February 04, 2012, 13:09:55 »
Dear optimist pessimist and realist while you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water. I drank it.

Sincerely,
The Opportunist

Online Macey

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #881 on: February 04, 2012, 13:11:26 »
A mine roller?

Yup... it was a gator with some one with a lot of time on their hands. I think it was from TF Lumberjack.

Offline Jim Seggie

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #882 on: February 06, 2012, 09:18:12 »
Yup... it was a gator with some one with a lot of time on their hands. I think it was from TF Lumberjack.

I think its quite funny actually.
Freedom Isn't Free   "Never Shall I Fail My Brothers"

“Do everything that is necessary and nothing that is not".

Online Macey

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #883 on: February 07, 2012, 16:24:25 »
I totally should build one here... wonder what the RCMP would say?

Offline Rifleman62

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #884 on: February 08, 2012, 11:39:48 »
Wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to the bedroom.

From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two.

She reaches for a Baseball Bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she's done, with a sense of pride and satisfaction she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

“ Hi darling” he says

“ Your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom."

 
 
Never Congratulate Yourself In Victory, Nor Blame Your Horses In Defeat - Old Cossack Expression

Online Macey

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #885 on: February 08, 2012, 18:29:01 »
Amen...  ;D

Online Macey

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #886 on: February 08, 2012, 19:44:40 »
When the recruiter asks you why you want to join...

Jump up and down on the desk and scream..
"I want to kill, kill, kill!"

Offline Jim Seggie

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #887 on: February 09, 2012, 09:42:37 »
When dealing with some (not all) officers who have "good ideas":

Freedom Isn't Free   "Never Shall I Fail My Brothers"

“Do everything that is necessary and nothing that is not".

Offline PMedMoe

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #888 on: February 09, 2012, 16:11:58 »
On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter.  In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.  This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state.  During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go.  It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million.  Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.  She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments. 

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"

That's when she shot him. You know, sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.   >:D
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Offline GAP

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #889 on: February 09, 2012, 18:44:40 »
My bookkeeper got into the act,,,,,,,,,,,,this was her reply........

So – you gotta wonder who else she was doing to earn all that dough – do the math - $3,000,000 / 30 years = $100,000 per year / 365 days - $273.98 per day / $20 per session = 13.7 session per day and every day!   She was a busy girl !!! J)) 

 ;D
REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM

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Offline Technoviking

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #890 on: February 09, 2012, 19:13:48 »
On their wedding night, the young groom approached his new wife and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter.  In her highly aroused state, she readily agreed.  This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with her thinking that it was a cute way for him to afford  incidentals that he needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, he was surprised to find her in a very drunken state.  During the next few minutes, she explained that her employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and she had been let go.  It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, she'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what she'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, her husband handed her a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million.  Then he showed her certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed her that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.  He explained that for the more than three decades he had "charged" her for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of his savings and investments. 

Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, his wife was so astounded she could barely speak, but finally she found her voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"

That's when she shot her. You know, sometimes, women just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.   >:D

Offline Technoviking

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #891 on: February 09, 2012, 19:14:33 »
My bookkeeper got into the act,,,,,,,,,,,,this was her reply........

So – you gotta wonder who else she was doing to earn all that dough – do the math - $3,000,000 / 30 years = $100,000 per year / 365 days - $273.98 per day / $20 per session = 13.7 session per day and every day!   She was a busy girl !!! J)) 

 ;D

I just found the spouse on spouse violence hilarious


 :sarcasm:

Offline DexOlesa

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #892 on: February 09, 2012, 19:22:43 »
she only deposited $1 Million, investments gave the other 2.  So 1,000,000/30= 33,333.33/365 = $91.32 a day/ $20 = 4.5 times a day. Not QUITE as bad. Still busy though

Offline PMedMoe

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #893 on: February 09, 2012, 20:29:58 »
Seriously?   :not-again:
I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #894 on: February 09, 2012, 21:16:03 »

Offline PMedMoe

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #895 on: February 09, 2012, 23:47:06 »
And just when you thought your life was boring......



......you're ecstatic that it is.   :nod:
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Offline jollyjacktar

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #896 on: February 10, 2012, 08:12:30 »
And just when you thought your life was boring......



......you're ecstatic that it is.   :nod:
Really, you could not make this stuff up.  Love it.   ;D
"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid" - John Wayne

Offline Rifleman62

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #897 on: February 10, 2012, 09:53:56 »
No English dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words 'complete' and 'finished' in a way that's so easy to understand.

Some people say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISHED but, there is an explanation, as told by a Newfoundlander!!!!!!

When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE....

And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED.....

And when the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are ....

COMPLETELY FINISHED !!!
Never Congratulate Yourself In Victory, Nor Blame Your Horses In Defeat - Old Cossack Expression

Offline GAP

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #898 on: February 10, 2012, 10:13:20 »
 :rofl:
REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE ARE ALIVE SIMPLY BECAUSE IT IS ILLEGAL TO SHOOT THEM

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I´m not so sure about the universe

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

Offline PMedMoe

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Re: More and more funnies.. vol: something...
« Reply #899 on: February 12, 2012, 15:54:47 »


« Last Edit: February 12, 2012, 15:58:10 by PMedMoe »
I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.